Oh Do Let's

In terms of one's life, there are many priorities one has.

Food.

Shelter.

Being on time for run crew.


Unfortunately, a blog is simply not high on the list, though it does beat doing homework by a fair margin. I apologize for my absence and it will never happen again.

I've been called to the wonderous task of being on run crew for Iphegenia 2.0. Pronounced "effin vagina." It's about a bitch and the story that leads up to said bitch's demise.





                         [This bitch.]


For those unfamiliar with run crew, we are the ninja masters that make the back/fore/mid stage things happen. You were unaware how the wall mysteriously moved, but it did. And there was a person dressed in black doing it.

When you are on run crew:

the actors are stupid

the stage manager is stupid

the director is stupid

but you must internalize these feelings and be subservient to all because that is what God made you for and you will do it.

Of course, none of those aforementioned persons are stupid in reality, (quite the opposite) but when no one communicates and things don't get done it leads one to suspect. It's just frustrating.

Today, specifically, was terrible because it is the first day of what I hope is a two  day AT MAX cold. I skipped class to try and regain some health points. Wouldn't you know I was fresh out of potions.





                                                         [I blame you]


Hallucinating is almost never fun, but doing it while operating machinery takes the ca--- no. we don't talk about the "C" word.

There's a ..ugh.. cake with about a 4 inch diameter that gets thrown apart by the actors and tossed about the stage. I never knew such a cake could cause such problems in my life. It simply doesn't mop up but we have to stay until the stage is no longer sticky. Literally every prop used in the scene has 10,000 crevices into which cake ahderes. Every night it's like the bouquet of flowers went swimming in icing.


It seems every day I do something worthy of humiliation.

There's a big, camo covered wall about 30 feet long and a foot wide that needs to move from scene to scene. It's on a track and I operate it. For reasons unknown, it has been named Hagrid and he is one temperamental son of a witch. I constantly need to adjust the speed and sometimes-

sometimes he just decides to go on break and not move.

STORY TIME

Yesterday, I arrived for our 12 hour rehearsal fresh faced and not knowing anything about the show. For some of my responsibilities, I was given Hagrid to operate. I knew not of his dark side.

Somehow fog machines came up in conversation and the person who is supposed to operate things like that said, "Oh f*ck fog machines," in a tone which suggested we weren't using one.

About midway throught the show, Hagrid simultaneously stopped responding to remote commands and smoke was everywhere. I relayed the info over headset and the run was stopped in a panic to investigate.

I'm gonna M. Night Shyamalan you here. It was the fog machine. What a twist!

There was your story. To bed with the youngins.

Today's moment happened with some united pre-show fail and people who have poor enunciation.

"Grant, there's a stippler...studio near you... stage left...move..."

"Uhh...what's a stippler?"

Nothing.

"Repeat, what's a stippler?"

Nothing.

"GRANT JUST GET THE STEPLADDER OF THE STAGE AND MOVE IT INTO THE STUDIO NOW"

"OH HELL I THOUGHT YOU SAID STIPPLER HONEST TO GOD"

so I creptily crept on to the stage and moved the damn thing...because it was exactly where the entire audience would see it if we had an audience. We talked about it later and apparently the silence was when the entire crew was laughing at me and had shut off their mics.

I anxiously wait for tomorrow's shennanigans.







               [I am literally this excited for it]

Meh

Acting Journal
2/14/11

I was kind of out of it today. I forgot entirely how to get ready for school. It was a hell of a monday.

The group of three girl went today, and I couldn't help but want to kill myself. Ivan didn't stop them nearly as many times as he stopped me and Fred. I was all excited to come to class and see everyone get corrected as much as I did...and it just didn't happen.

Later Ivan said something about how he appreciated how they took the lesson he gave to Fred and me and implemented it in their scene.

hooray, I guess.

I liked what he said about imagining a movie screen when I'm saying a line that involves remembering something. The key is to imagining the screen playing whatever happened that you 'remembered' and it reads well from the audience.

V-Day

Not gonna lie, I'm going to be nursing some wounds today. Yup.


P.S. Would anyone like a V-Day playlist?

Home Sweet Home

So much of my funny material comes from my everyday situations, To clarify, things as weird as my everyday situations happen to real people about once every two months. There are people I know that will never go through the equivalent craziness of one of my weeks.

I went back to my old high school to see the school play. I wound up with four tickets, so I ended up taking two of my buds from high school. After contemplating and eventually rejecting helping with strike, we were on the road and decided to be white trash.





                                                       [Classy]


If I ever need anything ever again you may find me in Walmart's clearance section. It's a condensed Walmart that's even cheaper. I realize everything is there for a reason, and it's not trustworthy, but God help me if I didn't try and buy everything. Luckily my friends are trained for this sort of thing, and emergency procedures were implemented. I escaped Walmart's clutches with only a bar of Dove soap, (for men!) play dough, and a bag of mini doughnuts. My friend bought some IBC root beer for us.

We cracked open the edibles (the donettes, root beer, and play dough) in the parking lot and we were just hanging out. This big, long, kind of aqua van pulls out from their parking spot. The van, driven by douches, loops around the aisle, comes back, and drives slowly by us, the driver glaring daggars.

They pulled around again, and we saw their back winshield. In the frost, someone had drawn a dick, and an "I <3" next to it. Naturally, we burst out laughing and did so for several minutes until they drove next to us again. Slower this time. This is the part of the movie where the three stupid college guys get canned, so we high tailed it out o' there. I swear to all business they chased us around the parking lot and down the street. To make sure, I lost them and drove around the city some before going right home. I didn't want them knowing where we all lived.

I mean, it would be fine if Mr. Creepster knew where the other two lived, but they were in my car, so....

Holy Hell

Acting Journal
2/11/11

Oh f*ck I can't even move. This acting class ruined me emotionally. I've just learned so much, my body is rejecting it. I'm shaking.


Zeke had another seizure within the first 5 minutes of class. The paramedics came and took him away, and Layla had to leave because she was so shaken up. I still had to do my scene. I was ridiculously unnerved even before starting. All the exercises Ivan had us do to calm us down only made me more worried. The more time I had away from my script the more I freaked out. I was pitting out.

It was so hard to get in front of the class and do such an intense, aggressive, emotional scene. I didn't realize. I thought I had done classwork before but not like that. Being chastized and corrected, growing, learning, having a moment in front of my peers is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

He got on me for not specifying my line:

"I've seen pretty girls ruined. Handsome guys, just like the greatest guys, destroyed. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a force march. We all started out together and then people started dropping"

I visualized who that pretty girl was, and how she was ruined. She must have been my friend or someone I thought had a bright future. I named her Jeanette. I did the same with the handsome guy. David. Going over that line with a clear intention of what I'm saying made all the difference. I could see it on my classmate's faces.

We performed when Fred throws me to the ground and gets on top of me and threatens to punch me in the face. Ivan taught us how to fall correctly. It's important to do physical things correctly. Doing 8 shows a week would really jusr destroy whatever part of your body you were incorrectly hitting the ground with.

There was a moment when Fred is all up in my business. He's like a foot taller than me and if he wanted to get aggresive he would absolutely take me down. I broke character because I needed a line, but right before that I guess I moved my foot back. It spoke volumes about my instincts and my tendency to flee difficult situations. Just little tiny changes in posture can ruin or make a scene.

The weight of everything pushed upon me today is just too much. I'm going to go in the bathroom and have a breakdown to let it all out.

To Draft, Or Not To Draft, That Is Only Slightly The Question

Acting Journal
2/9/11

I guess today's big lesson was following impulses. It's really obvious to an audience if the actor has a gut reaction to something and suppresses it.

I really don't learn much from exercises that don't directly involve me. That sounds selfish, but I learn more when lessons can be specifically applied to me.

I have a few moments in my scene with Fred that require instinct and gut reaction, it'll be interesting to see how that all goes. I thought I had to be off book today. I didn't.

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Tech Journal
2/10/11

I didn't understand that we even had an assignment until Tuesday. It wasn't until yesterday that I specifically knew what it was, and even then my directions were only on a facebook message. So I got it all done from 3:30 to 5:30, when it was absolutely due. Then I couldn't find a rubber band. I have 10 million at home but not here. Amy and I finished the flat and joined it with Allie and Carl's.

I would love to know who my one Canadian viewer is. The fact someone outside of the United States has found my blog means it's possible to read this without me forcing people to! WOO.

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Tech Journal
2/8/11

Today was kind of ho hum. I realized that Amy and I are just slow at stuff. Or it's probably just me. Amy does good work. We didn't quite get to where most of everyone else was, and the people we were supposed to hinge our flat with left, so we couldn't do that.

Dominic and what's his name were about as far behind as we were, but neither of our partner groups wanted to switch, which I thought was stupid. Now there's two half groups just waiting around for us to catch up.

I'm concerned with the newest draft we have to do. I wasn't in class so I didn't get all the instructions. Also, I did really terrible on my last one so we'll see where I end up.

Good People

Today was a rollercoaster. Like, literally. A literal rollercoaster.





                                         [My Day]


After the previously mentioned interesting acting class, I learned how to download music illegally, made some returns to Blockbuster, froze my ass all the way home, and ate lunch. It was my prize for such a long walk.

After a few more things were said and done, I proceeded to shave so my face would be ready for makeup class. For some reason, it hurt like all hell. My hair was just tired of being decapitated so it rebelled, I guess.





                                                               [REVOLUTION!]


And I cut myself shaving for the third time, ever. The first two were during my first shave.

I went to Makeup, destroyed my face, apologized with wipes and lotion, and tried asking literally everyone to buy me dinner. I am absolutely and utterly shameless. My rationale is that if one person, for whatever stupid reason agrees to buy me dinner, it's all worth it. Down to every last grovel.

I lost my wallet.








With my N-card and money gone, I had no hope of dinner. It's really no big deal to go without one dinner, but my thoughts of tomorrow's unfulfilled meals had my brow furrowed.

My friend, let's call him "Will..."

(See Kelsey Lee's article in the Feb 1st Daily Nebraskan for the irony.

Link: http://www.dailynebraskan.com/a-e/architecture-students-hook-ups-abound-with-small-building-dark-corners-1.2454822

E-mail:  kelseylee@dailynebraskan.com)

"Will," sensing my disturbance, offered to buy me dinner after refusing about three times prior to lost wallet discovery. Not wanting to be a source of pity,

yeah, right.

Not wanting to be a source of pity, I declined his offer. When I wasn't looking, he put his hand in my jacket pocket and left to go to rehearsal.


I pulled out a $20.



"Will" is officialy one of the kindest and coolest people I've ever met, and is #1 on my hero list right after Gambit and my mentor. His girlfriend, sitting across from me, melted all over the floor at the sight of the selfless and caring gesture.


And then she and I took the $20 and blew it on pizza.






                      [I'm back, bitches!]

A Mix of Tron and Data

Acting Journal
2/7/11

Today was sheer craziness. Ivan had us walk around to different music, letting our bodies adapt naturally and develop characters. There was happy beach music, the accordian of a sly French woman, techno, country, a sort of mid-core rock, and what sounded to me like the tribal sounds of a leader of an angry volcano cult. I think I was a toy once. It was so fun to just turn my body loose and surrender to the music.

Meanwhile if I ever hear "Tv-OD" by the Normals again, I'm going to instantly drop what I'm doing and become a robot.



Watch for the signs

Time Will Tell

I've been thinking about making a comic, something I used to do frequently. I've had the idea for a while but it's never come to fruition. I suppose I'll draw and plan it during all this free time I have. ALL. THIS. FREE. TIME.

The basic premise is a me character living by himself in an apartment, pursuing a dream (undetermined) and unable to make rent, so he puts an ad in the paper looking for a roommate. A future him, who has become suicidal and alcoholic, answers the ad. Many crazy adventures ensue. Death will probably be a recurring character.

If I feel like it, I will scan and post my comics here.

What will end up happening is I will abandon the idea altogether and take up day drinking.

STAY 'TOONED

Getting Behind

I'm losing steam in nearly all my activities, which aren't numerous. I'm in a lull, a funk, if you will. I'm lazy and spoiled and I don't really know what I'm even doing or how to handle life. I've lost a bit of my mojo.





                                [Come back!]



God only knows when he'll find his little way home. Until then, my creativity stagnates.

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Acing Journal
2/2/11

Ivan definitely gave everyone parts outside of their comort levels. I am no exception. He noticed from close to the start of class that I'm not confrontational even a little bit. He's given me a part in which I build to an angry dramatic climax that erupts into a physical fight. It's interesting because I saw the scene going differently, and Ivan keeps pushing me farther and farther away from where I want to be. It sucks, but I know I'm learnng and I know I will learn.

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Tech Journal
2/3/11

I know now when I miss class, I REALLY miss class. I feel like I'm really far behind and every time we do something I feel totally useless. I'm glad my partner has some idea what she's doing or we would be boned. Between trimming some wood too short and cutting the muslin the wrong way...I didn't have an awesome day in Techland.


P.S. The computer I'm typing on has keys that are impossible to use. I apologize for any spelling errors I didn't catch.

Snowpocalypse

I would like to say it's because of the severe weather warning in my area that I didn't go to class, but I would be lying.

Lil bit, yeah.

There was a certain, uh, project, that I had about a month to do and it wasn't...quite...done...

and boy that weather was just going to freeze my face right off. Many of you are recieving the same education I am. You know. You. Know.

I had to visit young Fredly (at his apartment style dorm, asshole) to rehearse our scene. It's about a block or so away from my own dorm. I almost didn't make it. I'm glad I skipped class. I stand by my decision. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

This post served no purpose other than I noticed it's been a while since my last post, and I want to keep you on your toes.

 [The Snowpocalypse]